Month: October 2018

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Book Review: Nabokov’s Favorite Word Is Mauve

By Patrick Stuart

Confession:  I use the word ‘that’ way, way too much.  OK, not that much. See? Just did it.  ‘That’ is one of those words that sneaks into my rough drafts with regularity, then when I go back for a revision I notice them popping up like mushrooms after a rainstorm. Not that that’s the worst . . . dammit. Twice this time. Does anyone else do this?

Turns out; yeah. A lot, actually. Even with famous authors who end up contradicting their own writerly advice. Which is what statistical word nerd Ben Blatt set out to find in his fascinating book Nabokov’s Favorite Word Is Mauve. By comparing several well-known authors of different genres and the books we know them for, he ran their work through complex computer programs to parse out their commonalities and secret habits. You know how Stephen King likes to slam adverbs (i.e., words ending in -ly)? Turns out he’s not quite so adverse with adverbs; he’s actually somewhere in the middle of the pack with usage (between Salman Rushdie and Charles Dickens). At the low end is Ernest Hemingway, whereas the high end tops out with E.L. James (50 Shades of Gray series) and J.K. Rowling. Which posits the following theory:

More adverbs > commercial work

Less adverbs > literary work

So maybe Mr. King has a point with his prejudice of sadly, suddenly, and tearfully (note: he’s hardly the only author against extraneous adverb usage). However, as the shopping channel likes to say; but wait, there’s more. Ben also compares the novels of Toni Morrison, Kurt Vonnegut, William Faulkner and others, and it turns out their most famous works (e.g., Beloved, Cat’s Cradle, The Sound and the Fury, etc.) also use less adverbs, while their lesser-known books tend to be more adverb-heavy.  Which further supports the prejudice against adverbs:

Less adverbs > higher literary quality

More adverbs > lower literary quality

But it’s not just adverbs.  No, Ben’s just getting started. There’s comparisons of swearing between male and female authors, the use of exclamation points (!), qualifiers (e.g., very), sentence length, clichés (spoiler: James Patterson and Janet Evanovich use the most), similes, and, yes, favorite words (hence the title). By taking blind snippets of books, Ben can even statistically predict who the authors were… imagine using that in a jury scene with an anonymous ransom note. One minor criticism: NKWIS is filled with statistical data, numerous bar charts, scatter plots and lists, which can come across a little dry at times. But ultimately, by teasing out these wonderful little factoids, it’s a fascinating trip inside the minds of our favorite authors and their literary peccadillos.  And that’s why this is recommended for your to-read list (another ‘that’ … shut up).

(Nabokov’s Favorite Word Is Mauve, by Ben Blatt, The Atlantic, Simon & Schuster, pub. 2017

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Everything you wanted to know about publishing…

. . . and were afraid to ask?  Well, ask away, compadre!  Cuz that is exactly what’s happening at our next monthly meeting.  I know we say this a lot, but this time our next event will be extra, extra special.  An event of biblical proportions and spectacular bandwidth, as it were.  Because, ladies and gents, children and small house pets, for the first time ever Buckeye Crime Writers will be combining with another central OH writing group, the Ohio Writers’ Association (formerly Columbus Creative Cooperative), to form a DUAL MEETING as our speaker will be none other than OWA founder Brad Pauquette, who will be expounding on, wait for it:  publishing.  Among the items he will be discussing:

  • The three primary paths to publishing (self-publishing, small presses and traditional/big 5).
  • The advantages, expectations, costs and compensation of each of the above.
  • Scams, red flags and false promises to avoid.

So where are you going to be Saturday 10/27/18?  Sprawled on your couch watching OSU football?  NO (it’s a bye week anyway).  You’re going to be at the Grandview Library (1685 W. 1st Avenue) from 12:30 – 3:00, learning the process of turning your written words into filthy lucre.  Because if anybody knows a thing or two about publishing, it’s Brad.  Not only has he written a book about self-publishing (The Self-Publishing Handbook), he’s consulted with clients from professional athletes to New York Times bestselling authors, and he’s also the founder of the Columbus Publishing Lab and the Columbus Press.  In addition, Brad has edited several anthologies, authored a book on the water crisis in India (Sejal:  The Walk for Water), and when he’s not doing any of the above he spends his time thinking up stuff to do on a farm in Zanesville with a wife, four children, and several adorable critters.  So block out the aforementioned Saturday and come loaded with questions for an event you don’t want to miss.  Per usual, we will try to corral the speaker at a local restaurant after the meeting for some extra input, so feel free to join if you are able.  And since this is a combined event, two groups will be occupying one space, and the space holds up to 60 people.  Do the math.  In the meantime, keep writing.

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The circle of life…

(From Buckeye Crime Writers Board President Patrick Stuart)

A skull!
It’s a skull. This means something.

“The corpse dumps a huge flood of nutrients into the earth—a blend of fats and proteins that stands out among the carbohydrates typically found in leaf litter. Quickly, a dedicated coterie of bacteria, fungi, and nematode worms emerges to dine on this artisanal feast.”

Great… now I’m hungry. BTW, that wasn’t Lee Child or Patricia Cornwell, but Ed Yong, science journalist for The Atlantic magazine. Ed was talking about the “necrobiome,” or the world of microbes that digest a body after death. We’ve all heard about the use of insects in forensics, and how the different bug types and growth stages can help determine the time a corpse has been decomposing. But what if it’s winter? Not so reliable. However, something that wants to eat us 24/7, in any season is, you guessed it:  microbes.

The beautiful thing about microbes is that they work with predictable, clock-like efficiency. How it happens: Dude gets murdered and dumped somewhere (you can work out the how’s and why’s). The ground already has microbes in it, but they’re scattered. Plus, the dead vegetable matter on top is carbohydrate-rich. What microbes love, though, is a nice ooze of fats, proteins and nitrogen, which is just what the body provides. So when those microbes sense food, invade, party and reproduce (kind of like an itty-bitty version of Sixteen Candles), investigators can then determine the time of death. Sometimes within three days, even after several weeks of decomposition.

What’s great is that microbes work the same for virtually any dead thing, any time of year. Once they’re in, they’re in. However, keep in mind factors like antibiotics or drug use that may or may not affect their digestive habits. Which is why experiments continue at places like the Sam Houston State University Outdoor Research Facility (a.k.a., “the body farm”). Note:  this is not the kind of farm where you take your toddlers to see calves and baby goats (I’ll never make that mistake again). Point being that nothing’s perfect, so homicide investigators may include this information with other studies to reinforce their findings. Which means your fictional detective/prosecutor/private investigator now has one more forensic tool in their arsenal.

So, anyone up for some oatmeal?  Fine, more for me… oh, and keep writing.

http://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2015/12/meet-the-necrobiome-the-predictable-microbes-that-will-eat-your-dying-corpse/419676/