Me (BCW President Patrick Stuart): Wake up. It’s time for NaNoWriMo!
You (you): NaNowuuuhhhhhh?
Me: You heard me; NaNoWriMo. National. Novel. Writing. Month. That time of year where you burn incense to the writing gods, sacrifice a Stephen King novel or two, and start warming up the Keurig maker. Because you’re going to be rocking that caffeine to get a 50,000 word rough draft done by the end of November.
You: Hahahahaha! (wiping tears from eyes). I thought you said ’50,000 words.’
Me: I did.
You: Holy (word redacted). You’re serious!
Me: Damn straight. We do this every year. It’s a 30-day writing marathon that started in 1999 with 21 people in San Francisco. Fifteen years later there were over 400,000 participants.
You: And how many met their goal? (skeptical face)
Me: About one in ten.
You: That’s not very many.
Me: It’s the journey, not the destination, grasshopper.
You: I hate it when you do that pseudo-Buddhist (word redacted). Besides, I’ll bet those manuscripts sucked.
Me: That’s not the point. The point is to end up with a rough draft, or at least a good start on one. Which can then be refined into something beautiful later.
You: Like what?
Me: Water for Elephants , by Sara Gruen. The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern. Or The Darwin Elevator series, by Jason Hough. All of those started as NaNoWriMo manuscripts.
You: So you’re saying if I finish 50k words, I’ll soon be sitting on a six-figure publishing deal?
Me: Hahahahaha! (wiping tears from eyes). That’s funny!
You: You’re a terrible president.
Me: True dat. But NaNoWriMo is about starting, not finishing. Or as my grandpa used to say, when the ‘poop hits the propeller.’ So go to the Bexley Library, 2411 E. Main Street, Bexley, Ohio on Saturday, November 16, from noon to 4:00 p.m. BCW has the Technology Room reserved, so you can sit with your fellow writers and write your fingers to the bloody nubs. We’ll even have refreshments, and a cattle prod in case you fall asleep. Would you like a demonstration?
You: Yeah, right (zzzzzzzzzzzz-snap). Sweet (several words redacted). That hurts!
Me: Pain is just weakness leaving the body, grasshopper. See you there.